You See...We Need to Regulate Basketballs

12 stitches for Obama after errant elbow in hoops

quote:

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama needed 12 stitches in his lip after taking an errant elbow during a pickup basketball game Friday with a group of family and friends visiting for the Thanksgiving holiday, the White House said.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Basketball is dangerous, and needs to be regulated. Next thing you know, someone will take an elbow to the temple, or a fast pass straight into the nose which could shove it into the cranial cavity and that could lead to coma or even death. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. And the basketball itself should be regulated as well. No longer will you be able to buy one off the shelf, but now it will have to be shipped to a BBL so that everyone can go through a background check with a three day waiting period. I mean, a strong person could throw a basketball at speeds approaching 100mph, so we may also need to put a new tax on basketballs, a kind of 'sin tax' like they try to do with ammo, and restrict the number of basketballs that a person can buy per month. People who want to participate in the sport (hunting is also a sport) will now need to go to a specialized training class to see if they are proficient in basketball handling safety, and then at that time, they can apply for a license to carry a basketball for a small fee of say $167.00. Maybe we can get Paul Helmke of the (Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence) to start a new chapter..."The Coalition to End Basketball Violence" or something like that, and use Mr Obama as the poster boy. If there are a slew of accidents with unregistered basketballs, then Spaulding and other manufacturers will probably be forced into micro stamping. Of course, now we will need to set up "basketball free zones" near all schools. Yep, now that this has been brought to the national spotlight, it is time to tax and regulate, because after all, isn't that what this administration is all about?